Sometimes...

3.06.2005

Pickles in a Pouch

There is a product on the market that has recently come to my attention. Apparently, it's been around for a while, but since I don't patronize gas stations and smut stores on a regular basis, I haven't come across it until recently.

This product of which I speak is none other than Van Holten's Pickle in a Pouch. My first encounter with this scary beast came last weekend in line to rent a couple of movies at the local video store ("Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" and "Saved!" for those of you keeping score at home -- both ended up being pretty good, with Eternal several notches better than Saved!). I saw this box of pickles in pouches next to the register. My immediate reaction was extreme amusement, and it took me a while to catch my breath from all the laughter.

However, last night, Shark came home from work and said, "You're supposed to ask me, 'Is that a pickle in a pouch in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?' " He had bought me a hot and spicy jumbo pickle (as opposed to ranch flavor or some other such atrocity).

Because the pickle has been sitting here staring at me for a good 20 hours or so now, I felt that it would only be wise to share the horror. I'm just going to let the pictures speak for themselves.

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Reading the Testimonials at the website was another frightening experience. Here are a few choice statements about these pickles:

  • I just wanted to let you all know that I love your pickles to death!
  • Van Holten's Pickles saved my life.
  • I don't know what i'd do without a pickle in a pouch.
Because I figured that the people who said these things were sitting there with a gun (or a pickle) at their throats, and because if you ate a whole one of these things you would consume approximately 4200mg of sodium, I decided to redo the pouch:

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Disclaimer: I love pickles. I love salt. I love anything pickled-- except pig's feet (mmmmhhmmm... pickled okra). I mean no harm to Van Holten's, but this is just too disturbing to me.

27 Comments:

Anonymous Steve Byrnes said...

What's the saying....."Any publicity is good publicity"

Thanks!

Steve Byrnes
Vice President
Van Holten's
www.vanholtenpickles.com

Wed Aug 31, 09:20:00 AM PDT

 
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